Left is always better....

Random banter between myself and Comedian/Writer, Dan Ponsky...

Atomic Bombshell: So an Atomic Bomb went off and I lost my funny!!

Daniel Ponsky: Did it explode all over your chin?

Atomic Bombshell: Fortunately, NO! ICK!

Daniel Ponsky: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
I think that it is important to maintain your composure in times of stress
Never underestimate the power of just zoning out.

Atomic Bombshell: I agree. HOWEVER, lately I have not been very graceful.

Daniel Ponsky: Maybe A D D is like God's way of saying, it's ok to not pay attention to this shit right know, cause what your seeing or hearing is bullshit.

Atomic Bombshell: A D D sounds like fun. Where do I sign up?

Daniel Ponsky: I hear God is online, you can reach him at Kneelmail.com

Atomic Bombshell: God is on twitter! What are you talking about? I follow him!

Daniel Ponsky: @God? Got it.

Atomic Bombshell: He and Tony Robbins, are my fav's.. I heard they're the same person!

Daniel Ponsky: You have to be very careful about what you post on the internet.
People will believe anything they see or hear.
Daniel Ponsky: I had my identity stolen once.

Atomic Bombshell: Well, Google doesn't lie!
Atomic Bombshell : No way!

Daniel Ponsky: The bastards scanned my face and slapped it on the back of a Vietnamese black market snuff film called, "Sgt.Wilcox"
50,000 copies sold before I found out.

Atomic Bombshell: Damn, did you get paid!?

Daniel Ponsky: I've been tied up in the courts for so many years that they have already made 10 sequels. Not a fucking dime yet
Not a fucking yen either
Not even a fucking fye
or five, or whatever
Bastards

Atomic Bombshell: What does yen REALLY equal, anyway?
Atomic Bombshell: I won't buy that movie!! I'm boycotting it!
Sounds like you could be famous!

Daniel Ponsky: It's already on YouPorn and Pornhub

Atomic Bombshell: You're like Tommy Lee
Wait, are you like Tommy Lee?

Daniel Ponsky: Half Jew and Half Black baby. The real ladies know me as Hebro.
My junk is more long then a Neil Diamond song
I get up in it, within it, and spin it. Like a dradle baby. Like a dradle.
But enough talk about my blessings.

Atomic Bombshell: Ahahaha!
Yes, let's move on to your gifts...

Daniel Ponsky: I have and am grateful for so many..
Like my personality..
My worldy deep philosophical views..
Your breasts.
I say I’m grateful for a great many things.
WDI
The lord blesses all of us I say

Atomic Bombshell: My breasts?

Daniel Ponsky: Blesses us all

Atomic Bombshell : You know, I miss my breasts.

Daniel Ponsky: Lovely. I follow your print work.

Atomic Bombshell: I had great ones.

Daniel Ponsky : Where did your boobies go?
I saw dem in the pictures
They looked good. What did you do?

Atomic Bombshell: Losing weight to do shoots and fit into certain types of clothing, really was hard on the breasticles.

Daniel Ponsky: Lies!!

Atomic Bombshell: Camera adds 10lbs!

Daniel Ponsky: These only pull me farther away from you and the love we share.

Atomic Bombshell: Hey, I'm sorry it looks like there's more boobage! Your heart is in my boobs?

Daniel Ponsky: You should see the Beverly Hills doctor for immediate medical attention. I know this man. I will make this happen.

Atomic Bombshell: I'm willing to come back to LA at any time.

Daniel Ponsky: We are waiting for you to take your head out of your ass and come back. Do you think people on the East coast have more drama in their lives then the west coast?

Atomic Bombshell: I need to be on the LEFT!

Daniel Ponsky: I love that. It should be on a T Shirt.

Atomic Bombshell: People on the East Coast are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more hostile than LA people.

Daniel Ponsky: With a map behind it pointing to LA.. LA has better weed. I know. I smoke it.

Atomic Bombshell: YES YOU DO!
The weird thing is, most people who live in LA, aren't really from LA..

Daniel Ponsky: I know, and they can leave at any time. Really!

Atomic Bombshell: RIGHT!? Last time I was visiting my family and friends, I have to say, it's gotten more populated..

Daniel Ponsky: And that is why you need to come back. We are running out of room and there is only so much left Besides. We miss your driving in LA.

Atomic Bombshell: My driving? NO you don’t! If LA falls into the ocean, it won't be because of an earthquake.. BECAUSE EVERYONE MOVED THERE!

Daniel Ponsky: I have a rope attached to Texas. You will be ok
I also have a raft and a ninja sword so we will be safe and protected.

Atomic Bombshell: A rope attached to Texas?

Daniel Ponsky: So when LA breaks off we won’t sink into the ocean
I have a rope attached to Texas..

Atomic Bombshell: Ahhhhhhhhhh! DING!

Daniel Ponsky: It’s a thick rope
I stole it from an Indian..

Atomic Bombshell: Well, don't pull too hard, we don't want another oil spill

Daniel Ponsky: Is it drink 45 yet?
The spill is in the Gulf of Mexico, not Texas
We don't screw up things in Texas
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHA

Atomic Bombshell: Oil in Texas.. DUH!? Google!

Daniel Ponsky: Bombshell, I think we found your funny!

Atomic Bombshell: Really? I left it in Philly. Right after I was possessed by the devil for saying douche bag! I hear it calls the devil when you say "douche bag."

Atomic Bombshell: We are so random.. Maybe I did join the ADD club?

Daniel Ponsky: Nice. Every one should do that once in awhile. Its therapeutic like role playing..

Atomic Bombshell: Okay, what's my disorder today?
My reiki lady told me the other day that I'm not grounded!?

Daniel Ponsky: You don’t have your anchor in life so how can you be grounded?

Atomic Bombshell: Like my spirit isn't fully in my body all the time.

Daniel Ponsky: It is pulling you to where you need to be LA?

Atomic Bombshell: You know, I wish I could astral project, there.

Daniel Ponsky: Your spirit is pulling you to the Left

Atomic Bombshell: Left is always better.

Daniel Ponsky: Agreed!!

Untitled.. Inspired by 3 beautiful women who deserve better..

Still sometimes, I think of you softly, but I will cut my hand off before I ever reach for you again.

Just when you think you’re happy and possibly falling in love, things couldn't be any better. Your life is comfortable. Everything seems to be A-OK! Then you get bitch slapped by the universe, you lose your job, your man, your happiness, comfort and find yourself dividing up what's left of your relationship, into boxes. Just like that.. There was no rhyme or reason. People will say that one cliche thing that you don’t want to hear at that moment, "Things happen for a reason." Who really wants to hear that shit? It could be true.. You analyze over and over the series of unfortunate events that lead to the place that you are standing now. Then comes the information.. You know, the people who call you up to tell you things like "he's been cheating on you, he said it was over, and my favorite: Whoops, I slept with him but I had no idea you existed." If you were willing to go this far to find me, then why didn't you do the research before-hand? Should I believe this drunken, sloppy, pill popping mess? As they stand there, looking into your face, telling you how beautiful you are and how they are so sorry. You're sorry? Really?

Men rarely ever admit to their indiscretions. That would mean admitting that they did something wrong. No matter what, it's your fault. You didn't act right, you didn’t call, you started a fight or you were the one suspect of cheating so instead of me using my grown-ass man words to communicate, I'm going to project all of this onto you, deny everything and pretend you're the unstable, insecure one in this relationship. It's so much easier than having to admit what a douche bag I am. Note to men: this tactic is usually seen through by everyone. It's true. The only one you can convince to believe it is YOU. The woman may be temporarily insane, but her friends will ground her and once she tells her friends the story of how her heart got broken, your cover is blown. I don’t know why men think that they can hide things from women. Especially, other women. Another note to men, women NEVER keep their mouths shut. It shocks me as to what lengths a woman will dig into a man’s life. It almost makes me regret not doing it, myself. I try to give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Be fair. I believed you because you said that's how it was. I expected you to be an adult. You know, as women, we just assume after a certain age that men actually act their age.. Total myth! Some men do, and some men stay 15. Just because you act like your in highschool, doesn’t mean you can date girls in highschool!

Finally, if you’re going to cheat, CHEAT UP! I get that you’re insecure and so you need a classless girl to make you feel high and mighty, but seriously, what’s it doing for your ego? What does this say about your integrity? Where is this going to go? There is a reason she works in a strip club.. Or better yet, there is a reason she is putting up with you and I’m not.