Dream Interpretation, Anyone..?

Since about 2 weeks ago, I started having slightly different variations of the same dream. Last night, was probably the most vivid. I could actually hear and feel things. My dream starts with me either walking to a high cliff, that over looks the ocean or I'm already standing on it. It's late in the day but this sun isn't setting yet. I'm staring out over the ocean, looking at the sky for a few moments. The wind is so strong and loud, it's all I can hear. I feel like I'm blowing a little with the wind, so I'm trying to keep my balance. All of the sudden, I feel this ridiculously hard, push into my back/shoulder blades and I'm falling. I hit rocks on my way down. I feel like I've broken bones and I'm scraped, right before I fall so hard into the ocean. I become numb. It's really cold and dark. I can't see in the water to try to swim to the surface. I'm not even floating up. It goes on for so long that I can't hold my breath anymore. My body just starts to breathe in the water. I'm choking and gasping. I can feel myself totally slipping somewhere. Then I just wake up.

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To Set the Record Straight...

No pun intended.. Okay, a li pun!! This is NOT me.. Although it is insanely creepy that it resembles me. It's Deborah Harry, circa 1970's.. But now for the party on Thursday, I'm totally doing my hair like this!

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Bombshell Poster by Keen Imagery

One of my all time favorite pic's to be made into a POSTER!

Keen Imagery
keenimagery@gmail.com

Therapy Part I

It’s been so long since I actually wrote a blog. Not just random words, not just chaos in a journal, or typing emails to my closest friends, trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong. I started this blog, literally on some EAT, PRAY, LOVE, meditate and you will feel better, shit but then my close friend, Chase, (Chasetheface.com, amazing writer) gave me a few rules to follow when writing;

If I bleed, you bleed,
If you made me cry, you are gonna cry
If you lied, I'm calling you out on it
If you fucked me over, bend over here it comes
If you gave me a hand back up when I was down, I'll never forget you and love you unconditionally.

I haven’t TRULY decided which way this blog is going to go or how much I want to divulge of my personal life. I am sure this will be one of many. I'm doing my best to get my angel wings. Now knowing what I know and some of the hidden truths about this person, speaks oceans of myself as well. Not that I was aware of all that he was doing or is capable of, but the fact that I didn’t see it. Yet, I gave this jack-ass a free pass for his excuses and how he treated me. As a writer, you have to be honest with yourself. Especially when you are a character in your story. For character's sake, he was the King of Bullshit and I was his fool.

Let’s just keep it very simple.
1)I do believe in meditation. I can’t quiet my mind long enough to not think about if I bought the right faux eyelashes to go with my dress for my next event. Someday, I will get there and become closer to the divine. So much energy goes into thoughts, words and feelings. So, remember that!

2)If you’re dating a man who’s secretive, controlling, possessive and has an excuse for everything, know that they’re his issues, not yours and most likely will have multiple women, out of his own insecurity. Please run! He will mind fuck you until you can’t see straight!

3)Always be honest with yourself about who you are, what you are feeling and what it is that has brought you to the place where you are now. Be kind to yourself and most of all, forgive yourself for making a bad choice. It's part of growing. Or so that's what my fortune cookie said today-

So this was my little piece of therapy, to myself, for myself. Thank you, Chase Allen for always being there and my literary hero!

PS: There's a traditional saying that says you can't push out darkness. You can only bring in light. If you're in a closet and it's black, there's no way to sweep darkness out. The only thing you can do is ignite, illuminate somehow. And the only way to get into a darkened miserable heart is to break it.

To be continued.....


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