VOLATILE RELATIONSHIPS

When is Enough, Enough?
V O L A T I L E; means changing or changeable. Its noun form is volatility, which refers to any of several measures of instability. Adjective: tending or threatening to break out into open violence; explosive situation, fluctuate, transient.
You may not like the person you love. The one constant you have is to agree to disagree. Both of you keep drawing lines in the sand that you say you’ll never cross instead of just being blissful and grateful that you are together. Maybe this has been your entire relationship but the
misery is finally setting. The extreme highs and lows, depression of being with or without them, with no end in sight. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because when we
break up, after a bit of time goes by, we only see the good times, the intimate moments that we still cherish and the weakness comes. You forget about all the arguments, who wasn’t trying in the relationship, and the lack of trust and the insecurities. It’s amazing how our minds work. How can we remember the good times outweighing the bad? So you know it was a volatile relationship so why do we want our exes back? I’m guessing it’s fear. Fear that someone will take our place, fear of something new and unknown, fear that we may get our hearts broken or fear we will never love or be loved again.
Q: My boyfriend and I seem to break up every three months. It’s like we are stuck in this crazy pattern of fighting, jealousy and game playing. I don’t understand why it always happens. Every time we start up again, he’s perfect. Slowly but surely, he picks fights and I feel like I am always walking on pins and needles so he doesn’t have reasons to break up. I love him and I want to be with him, Can you tell me how to get over the hump so we can have a normal relationship?
A: Every person has their breaking point; you obviously have not reached yours. You are going to do whatever you want to do until you’ve had enough. Until you decide you want something better. I’m not saying that you both don’t care about each other. It just may be that you can’t function in a relationship without the constant push and pull. And people get away with whatever you allow them to so take back your power, say you will no longer stand for this and make a clean break. If you really feel yourself wanting to go back, give yourself a solid six months without him and then evaluate how you feel towards him. It may be that both of you like the drama or that you’re just not ready to be in a relationship. Break up, to make up may be fun but it’s a terrible dysfunctional cycle that needs to be broken.