The Curse of a Beautiful Woman

What does the world truly expect or see when they look at a physically attractive woman? You think that we rule the world? We have a certain power that most people do not possess? Maybe you think that life is so easy for us because of what we look like? That may actually be true for some women. I can sit here and tell you that is so far a few between. Do you really want to know what it’s like for some of us? It’s like walking in the room and catching the eye of every man and being approached with lines like “I would really love to stalk you.” Or “I’m married but I would take care of someone like you.” My favorite is when you are networking and trying to have a conversation with someone but you are getting this blank stare back at you because they do not believe for two seconds that you are an intelligent human being with wonderful ideas. Being beautiful AND smart makes you less desirable to men, as well. Men are superficial animals. They initially judge you by what they see. Beautiful women who are intelligent, can usually see through the bull shit that men do. It would certainly seem that whenever I first meet a man, he is thinking about what I am like in bed or that I’m only down for a good time. The minute I open my mouth and start to speak, their disposition changes. Suddenly, this isn’t going to be as easy as they assumed it would be. Sure, if I was just beautiful with no brain or self respect, I would probably get all the men. What you see is never what you are going to get. It makes me so angry that I am immediately judged on what I look like. Most of the time, it never gets passed that. I am grateful that I am attractive. I always work on enhancing myself and taking care of myself. I do it FOR myself. I’m here to tell you that there is so much more to me than beauty. Even if I stay single forever, I just want people to look at me and really see me.

Today..

So today I'm shooting with Erica Capabianca, who I love! There are maybe a handful of photographers who I will work with at the drop of a dime and Erica is definitely one of them! She and her boyfriend are very artsy and have the best energy. It's always a lot of fun and the end result is always something amazing. I'm really looking forward to it!

Today, I have been still trying to shake the "oogies" from the weekend, working at the bar. You really get an education on people working in the nightlife business. Sometimes, it's really hard to clear yourself of all the stuff you deal with and not bring it home. This weekend, my heart broke for a guy who just came home from Iraq to find his fiance cheating with his childhood-best friend. He had been away for 2 years and he said she was the only thing that kept me going. At one point, his eyes filled with tears and I didn't know what to do or say to him. I'm sure that just living in Iraq for 2 years was emotionally distressing, then to find out two people that are closest to you, just betrayed you. Betrayal is the worst feeling in the world, not too mention being robbed of your faith, your heart and years of your life that you give to someone. Sometimes, I feel like the entire world has gone Jerry Springer. It's really sad!

On a lighter note, I will be cleaning house, working on fashion content and preparing for my girls dinner on Thursday night. I can't wait to start doing guest blogs for the AB Chronicles along with some serious writing. (Ha! whatever that is!)

Stay tuned!

*Today's photo is by Erica Capabianca

I'll have some Karma Cake with my coffee, please!

So the last few days, I have been putting together content for the blog. I have been doing some soul searching in the process. Having been going through some personal ups and downs, it really had me questioning who I was, who I am and who I aspire to be. It's never really easy when you have to sit down and look at yourself, in that painful, honest light. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself, the choices you've made and keep moving forward. I've always believed that one should listen to their heart. Sometimes the messages can get very confusing. No matter what, you're heart does have something important to tell you and there is a lesson to be learned. Even if it's not quite the lesson we had hoped for. I'm a lucky girl with many people close to me, who put up with me and support me. I only hope to return the love and light that I have been given, to those who need and deserve it.

"Om Namah Shivaya" (I honor the God within me). - Siddha Yoga

The Bombshell Chronicles.. Part I
The introduction
Who am I? Atomic Bombshell. I am a writer, model, event planner, event coordinator, bartender and talk show radio personality. I am starting to write blogs again and I felt that every thing should start with a beginning. A proper introduction, if you will. Let me tell you about the people I surround myself with. I have an eclectic group of friends that include; artists, rock stars, comedians, writers, photographers, fashionsta’s, fetish/models, freaks, and everything in between. I am completely fascinated with people. I feel like every one of my friends represents a little piece of me, even if it never comes all the way to the surface. I enjoy people who aren’t afraid of what others may think of them. It took many years of my life to live the way I wanted to and not the way I was expected to. It’s still an ongoing struggle, every day I feel like I’m getting closer to something. Modeling has been therapy for me in ways that most people could never truly understand. Having the ability to mold myself into someone else’s vision, becoming a photo that people can leap into or truly move someone for a single moment, helps me release and clear myself . Writing has been something that I have worked much harder at. There is nothing more powerful than the written word. I enjoy reading other peoples blogs, even when they are bitching about the “nothing” in their lives and going on and on about people I don’t know or could care less about. Some people just have a way with words, no matter what non-sense they bang on their key boards. Neil Gaiman, on the other hand, I would follow until the end of the earth. I think he is one of the most amazing story-tellers/writers of our time. I put him right up there with Shakespeare! Sure, you would have to be a deep person to really understand his stories, and yes, they seem kind of dark. Dark things happen in life all the time. That’s why I quit CNN but that’s an entirely different blog!!

So what do I hope to accomplish, here? I want to talk about my experiences, my thoughts, fashion, make-up, dating from a womens perspective, and everything that is part of being a Bombshell. Please stay tuned!!